Updated: Sep 7, 2021
SO after you finish 10th, what happens? You’re either forced to take a stream you dislike or you’re going to lose some of your old friends. Let's face it, everyone is different, everyone has a different goal, and thus, like every human being of the 21st Century we chose to leave our emotional baggage for all the ‘better things’ that await us as a reward of our great sacrifice.
I, however, ended up getting close to a certain someone, my best friend, whoa! I couldn’t even imagine that I'd end up with someone this close. To realise that leaving them would be the most painful thing actually becomes a thorn that comes back to hurt you. But this is what is worse, changing schools for the first time in your life, to make sure you're in the same school as your best friend. Well, I say this because humans are fragile. I say this not only to those who are sensitive but also to those who appear hard who are mentally fragile about what they portray.
Coming back, so my best friend and I went up to the same school and till a certain time, everything was fine until certain new people came into our lives. And boy! things are going to change forever. Yes, I admit I am mentally very insecure, I am very fragile, I am easy to get affected by anything, that's when your childhood is tough, coming from an abusive household and not knowing that even though your family is right, maybe its wrong for the society. It's, therefore, necessary for me to hang on to someone. But, I didn't know what this person mastered the art of letting go of things and people. Yes, that's because humans are selfish.
Here’s the thing, I realised I was a social misfit, I realised that I did not belong, I was annoying and I was ‘extra’ because I wanted to make people laugh, that’s a crime in a city of douchebags you know. So yes, there were these mindf**ks she got close with and bam, who knows that they'll appeal more to her and so she leaves me and goes to them. She knew it was easy to change friends, and thus, she wears her oh so good looking mask and leaves me, ridicules me while she gives me a hope that she’ll stay. Oh, this little shit ruined these past few months. I realised how her not really liking me gave me so much self-doubt that I started to hate myself. I started to understand how the world and all my friends hate me. That's self-doubt, that is how bad she made me feel. My marks were going down, and someone who was fairly good at academics, this made me feel worse, I was broken and yes I committed suicide, maybe I did not have the art of letting go until I decided to let go of this beautiful life God gave me.